Overwhelmed

My O word for today is overwhelmed.  Has anyone ever felt overwhelmed?  That is how I am feeling on this Monday morning.  I am not even sure what I am overwhelmed with.  Just life in general.  Now I am sounding really depressed or something.  No, I have not gone off the deep end but I am sitting here just trying to decide whether to cry my eyes out.  I admit, I did get tears in my eyes as I looked out the window and snow was coming down hard.  Yes, it has happened before...snow in April here in Michigan.  But this is not supposed to happen when I take a few days off of work and am looking forward to relaxing in the sun!  I am tired of it as is everyone else.  But on the bright side, at least we didn't get those horrible tornadoes the South got over the weekend.  I guess the snow isn't so bad as that. 

What else am I overwhelmed with?  My daughter and I went to Kohl's and Penney's yesterday because we both needs clothes badly.  She found some cute stuff...I found nothing.  Not only did I find nothing that fit but when I was trying things on and looked at myself in the mirrors...well, I was really appalled.  I don't have mirrors in my bedroom when I am getting dressed and I wear clothes to hide what I don't want to see.  I knew I had gained some weight but seriously...I have fat rolls around my knees and my thighs...I don't even want to think about it.  I am overwhelmed with the fact that I let myself go like this.  I guess I was brought to the realization of how unhealthy I have become with my sweet habit and all the fast food we eat when I am working.

This in addition to being overwhelmed with pain this last year...more than most realize or what I let on along with housework I have let go and the animals that have somehow taken over this house.  Being overwhelmed is not a good feeling to have.  Is there a light at the end of the tunnel?  Of course there is.  I know the snow will melt eventually and spring will be here, I have the control to lose weight if I so choose to and I can always work through the other issues.  Not an easy road sometimes because really all I want to do is eat the brown sugar pop tarts I have sitting on the table and forget all about my image in the mirror and close all the blinds to hide the horrible white stuff outside.  This reminds me that it is not an easy road to have faith in a God that I sometimes feel isn't listening to me.  But I have chosen that road because I know it is the best road to be on.  He is my light at the end of the tunnel.  I just need to head that way instead of down overwhelmed road.  Especially with Easter weekend coming up.

Funny, I went to bed last night having no idea what O word I was gong with today but then as soon as I saw the snow, my O word came to mind right away.  I guess I poured out my heart today but I kind of feel a bit better.  Off to start my day.

~Kim~